This discussion is going to be a tough one to handle for some of you readers and listeners. It is going to be tough in the sense that it may very well challenge you to deeply self examine how well your words and your activities really do (or do not) match up to the living of your life. I know that no one likes to expose their own character flaws or personal weaknesses. But if one is to grow bigger and grow to a higher level in life, such weaknesses and flaws must be identified, dealt with, and resolved.
Does what you say and how you act (your example) confirm or belie your actual thoughts, lifestyle, and speech? Are you really for real? Do your words and actions confirm what you say to other people as to how you actually live?
In other words, do you actually mean and perform what it is that you say you are and what you really believe?
Talk is cheap. It is ever so easy to say something to another person or group, but do you really mean it? Are you really actually backing up your words with direct and purposed action?
Have you ever told someone that “You are their true friend. And as such you will be with them all the way to the end of their life,” or that “they can always have whatever it is that you have and they need.” Have you ever voiced how much you really love another person and that you will stand by their side no matter what happens to them in the years ahead. And then suddenly tragedy strikes that other person and you don’t go to their side. You just kind of leave them hanging there by themselves wondering what happened to their declared “real friends.”
How many times have you overheard someone say,…“I am or will be praying for you?” and yet you have never actually heard these same people pray as they stated or much less even talk about the person who was to be the recipient of such fervent committed prayers. Your confession (words) must match your actions (efforts) or you are just simply not what you claim to be.
This discussion is not intended to be a scolding or a judgment of any individual or group of people. It is being written in “lock-step” with the overall mission of this website, which is to get people to actually think and then draw their own conclusions from all of the article’s content.
You see, friends, contrary to today’s societal evolution and conventional thinking, life is not and cannot be seriously lived by and with 2 or 3 minute audio or video “sound-bites,” “U-Tube quick video humor,” or incomplete English phrases or parodies texted through a cellular telephone. There is so much more to life than those sorts of “little things.” The human mind is capable of so much more than such minuscule and unimportant things and gibberish. If you do choose to expand your thoughts, words, and actions beyond the simplistic and unimportant,…true and proper use a your of mental capabilities is going to be required. For instance, if it takes 1,000 words to completely and thoroughly cover a topic of discussion then so be it! Use all of the 1,000 words correctly. Don’t try to short cut the requirements just for your own convenience or lessoned efforts. Real learning is not directly related to the pace of your reading or listening. The quantity and quality of what you learn has nothing to do with your ability to read and send text messages filled with incomplete sentences and no punctuation for over two hours each day.
If you want more out of life than you presently have,…you must start by putting more back into your life.
God Almighty is not confused. He has clearly told us that we must first give if we ever expect to receive.
I have said all of the previous things to get to this point of my article. How much are you giving back to all of the people who are or who have played significant roles in helping you get to where you are today? How much or how many times have you taken a few extra moments or hours to write a thank you note, or send a telephone message or E-mail a message to one of those most important people in your life who have or who are positively impacting your life?
Have you had any kind or curious thoughts about an individual but up to now have never taken just 5 minutes to thank them through an ever-so-special hand written note, personal telephone call, or the sharing of a meal or even a short conversation together? How often have you contacted an old friend or personal acquaintance just to check up on them or remind them that you are thinking about them or how much you want to continue to thank them for the part they played or are playing in your life today. These type things may seem small and insignificant to you, but rest assured they are not the same with another person who provided you their efforts and assistance. When you take your eyes off of yourself and look at the situation from a different perspective, you may quickly discover that your perceived viewpoint or understanding of the persons involved will change.
I recently listened to a Christian radio talk show during which a widow of an ordained minister of the Gospel of Christ and another ordained male minister were talking about what happens to most Christian Believers when they suffer or experience a great loss or reduction of scope of a personal relationship. These two ministers stated that it makes no difference what caused of the loss, whether it’s a divorce, the death of a spouse, the loss of a child, the break-up of a long term friendship, the loss of a business or elevated position of leadership,…or whatever else it might happen to be. The interesting fact was that no matter what caused the event, the one shared result in practically every instance was that the parties involved all experienced the same rather immediate loss of personal relationships. Shockingly, at least to me, was that they both said they experienced an immediate loss, termination, or abandonment of at least 75% of what they considered to be their other close personal friendships or relationships that existed prior to their experiencing their loss. That is amazing to me. The two talk show guests went on to say that the so-called close personal friends of the person who experienced the loss just simply dropped the grieving person from their lives. No one could understand why such a thing happened between former close friends, but the result was the same…aloneness,…loneliness,…abandonment to the person who really needed friendship, help, and comfort from their thought-to-be good friends. How sad is that?
I don’t know what the real reason was that triggered the “former friends” to leave the person who was hurting and suffering from a tragic loss, but it really makes no difference. A true friend, never abandons his or her real friends. They stick by the hurting or harmed friends no matter what the circumstances.
Hurting or suffering people need the comforting togetherness and closeness of real friends. This is a true statement whether any words are exchanged or not. Whenever you are hurting, experiencing pain, battling with loneliness or dealing with abandonment, having the warming security of the shared presence of a true friend always helps and lightens the bearing of your own burdens.
You don’t have to be physically together to be known as real good friends with another person or group,…but is certainly doesn’t hurt anything if you are.
On a closing note, I was so moved by the radio talk show discussion that I took a long time to mull over my own life experiences as well as several of those whom I knew who also had experienced a great loss. Sad to say, all the experiences so reviewed produced identical results. More than 75% of the ones who call themselves good friends prove themselves not to be such.
God tells us in His Word in the Book of John, Chapter 15, verses 9–14, NKJV precisely that we (as His children) are to love one another.
Love and Joy Perfected
(9) “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.
(10) If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.
(11) These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.
(12) This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
(13) Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
(14) You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.”
There is an old saying that says: “pain shared is halved,…joy shared is doubled.”
1 Corinthians 13 : 13 NKJV:
“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Peace and Love to All of You…………….Poppa Bear