To Have a Happy Marriage,…Keep The Romance In It Alive

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The great entrepreneur, businessman, author, and motivational speaker, “Zig” Ziglar once told a beautiful story about his extremely wonderful and happy marriage which spanned a period of 66 years to his beautiful wife, Jean, whom he simply referred to as “The Redhead.”  Zig died prematurely from pneumonia at age 86.  Love, respect, kind thoughts, kind words, and affectionate deeds were the hallmarks of his long and happy marriage.  The story I reference was short and sweet and very powerful.  Zig relates it in his own words:

   “One of the most meaningful experiences of my married life took place after my wife and I had been married for over thirty years.  Early one morning as we sat in our bedroom drinking coffee and just greeting the day, neither of us was saying very much……Then she quietly looked at me and said, “You know Honey, I wish I were younger.” And I said, “Well for goodness sakes, why?”  She responded, “If I were younger, I could be married to you even longer.

Zig went on to say that her words moved him as no other words had ever moved him in all of their married years together.  Zig lovingly stated, “Never have I felt more loved or more like we were one,…than at that particular moment.”

Do you remember the covenant vows you exchanged with your spouse at your wedding?  Do you remember what the Bible had to say concerning the holy institution of marriage between one man and one woman?  Well if you don’t or can’t remember,… permit me to refresh your memory as concerns what the Word of God had to say about the real meaning of being married.  (24)  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  (25)  “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”  (See Genesis 2 : 24-25.)  Now, of course, this statement regarding the truth about God ordained matrimony is in reference to the consummation of the marriage blood covenant with an intimate sexual union…BUT…far more than that event,… the command that the two become one means that from the marriage vows on,… forward in time,… this newly married couple becomes totally one in the same as if there was only one body.  The male and female are commanded to live, act, and exist as if they were in fact one…not two individuals.  It is to be as if whatever the man does…it is the same as if the woman does,…and…whatever the woman does it is the same as if the man does…Literally there is only one body and mind and soul occupied by the man, the woman, and the Godhead….Father, Son, and Holy Spirit….remember God always wants to be included deep within whatever his creation is doing.   That is a powerful union.  That is what God wants a lifetime marriage to look like and behave like.  Three in one….”And they shall become one flesh.” 

God specifically designed romance into the equation for lasting happiness for the marriage partners.  Certainly no explanation is needed for the newly weds.  The “new excitements” and “discoveries” of the physical side of the marital union run their own exhilarating course.  All too soon there will be no further mysteries or secrets to be discovered on a physical plane by and between the husband and his wife.  But that does not indicate or mean that the romancing between the partners winds down, slows down, or ends all together.  Oh No!  Husband,…Wife,…you should always strive to keep your bodies in good physical shape and condition,…you should always endeavor to keep yourselves highly physically desirable for each other.  It is all part of creating and maintaining long and lasting happiness to your marriage.  It is the way for a married couple to keep their romance alive and well and thriving as the years go by.  Remember,…all good and proper things within all of God’s creation are designed to get better as time goes bye,…as time passes. “Chasing” after each other, giggling, touching, caressing, and just plain holding your spouse quietly in your arms and speaking soft and loving words of affirmation into their ears just like you did when you were courting are all important activities that never leave the marriage covenant.

There is an old saying that says, “Home is where the heart is.”  Well this same saying can be applied to the continued romance of an on-going long term marriage covenant.  Far too many married couples think that after many years go by and the children are grown and/or even out of the house, that physical love can only be found in the far away romantic and exotic geographical destination points hundreds, if not thousands of miles, distant from your own home.  I do not believe that statement is true.  As a matter of fact, I personally believe that real love and happiness are generally not to be found in those faraway places with crazy-sounding names.  It is my opinion that Love, real true deep-seated and feeling love, is most often found in the home–in the familiar presence of a caring and considerate life-mate who nurtures their individual love of and for their mate on a daily basis.

U.S. Navy Admiral Richard Byrd, while lying on his deathbed at 70 years of age uttered these magnificent words:

“At the end, only two things really matter to a man, regardless of who he is, and they are the affection and understanding of his family.  Anything and everything else he creates are insubstantial.  They are ships given over to the mercy of the winds and the tides of prejudice, but the family is an everlasting anchorage, a quiet harbor where a man’s ships can be left to swing to the moorings of pride and loyalty.”

It is my most earnest desire that you readers, whoever you are,… who are married, regardless of how long it has been since your honeymoon ended,… to begin to search for, identify, and isolate the tender romantic moments as they have occurred within your marriage.  Determine the cause, the source for those magic moments.  Discover how and why they happened and then endeavor to increase their frequency of happening again….regardless of the current state of your marriage.

You can take a great marriage and make it even better–or you can take a poor marriage and make it great.  I promise you that such a transition can be true in your own marriage as of right now.  All that is required for my prescription to really work is for you,… you may have to look past a few extra pounds, a scar or two, some stretch marks or the like,….That is O.K…. look past them.  And then secondly add a large dose of honest, heartfelt, emotionally-driven romance surrounded with affectionate caring and kindness toward each other.  Put an added measure back into the love potion you sipped so frequently during the week of your own honeymoon, and the first year of your marriage, and are herewith starting to drink again.

Permit me to suggest that you, Tarzan, start out for no apparent reason or cause at all with a big bouquet of one dozen red roses, and a beautiful personal greeting card indicating your love and affection toward and for your most special bride,… coupled with a beautiful supper just by yourselves at a very nice local restaurant, followed by going to a Jane’s favorite motion picture show….even if it is a “chick flick” and you really don’t want to go…..go anyway!  Jane will love you for going and supporting her likes,…trust me.

You don’t need a manual…spice up your life with some exciting and different activities, celebrations, and other events that you both would enjoy.  Get out on the “edge.”  Try some new  things and activities.  Start some light exercises.  Begin dishing out lots of heartfelt compliments.  Bathe your mate in good social manners and skills.  Make them feel ever-so-special and they will begin to feel that way and want to return it to you..  You do these things and keep doing them regardless of any reciprocation, and soon you will begin to see those old fires begin to rekindle and burn.

Do you really want a long, lasting, and happy marriage?  The simple solution is for you to keep your romance alive!

Have A Great Forever!……..

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