There is only one thing that God can and does use to build a man....A little boy. Manhood doesn’t come in an instant at a specific day or time or age. Manhood is developed and it grows totally in relation to the environment in which it grows. Human beings all grow and learn from observation. By observing the attitudes, actions, words, and deeds of the older, more mature same sex counterparts i.e. the adult men around them, the younger boys learn what and how to do and act and care for their masculine responsibilities from watching the surrounding males conduct their lives. The old saying, “your example speaks louder than any words coming out of your mouth,” is absolutely true as regards the training up of a male adolescent.
“Boys will be boys” and “men will be men,” while true as a statement in content must also be evaluated by understanding the context in which the learning and teaching processes were conducted. An adolescent boy cannot teach a male how to become a mature, responsible, real man…A real true man is the only one qualified to teach a boy how to grow up responsibly and be a real man. There is so much more to it than observing a boy’s voice getting deeper and his body hair beginning to grow.
Theologian and author Kent Nerburn, speaking to a large group of males once said:
“All young males have a chance to define a new kind of manhood. If they do it well, it will be a manhood in which men do not cheapen themselves and the women around them by the kind of casual, brittle talk that turns women into objects and sex into sport. It will be a manhood in which men see the effects of their gestures and words and most well-intentioned actions…It will be a world where we can love together without fear and without judgment; a world of celebration, not a world of accusation and apology and unexamined assumptions.”
Throughout this entire discussion, I am not just giving you my personal opinion. I am speaking from personal experience of my own maturation process as well as my experiences as a man who, together with their mother, raised our own three children (two boys and one girl) from infancy to adulthood.
There is no magic formula, no special pill to be taken, or no silver bullet to shoot. Manhood, much like womanhood, is a mysterious God-ordained process of growth that each person on earth must pass through in their journey of life. Like all routes of growth and travel there are easy spots and there are tough spots. There are broad and wide little or no grade sections and there are steep, windy, and treacherous sections. All of the sections of the path of growth are unmarked. There are lots of dead end side roads, and there are many detours. A traveller can be easily side-tracked. It is extremely easy to get lost and waste much valuable time. Therefore, a road guide, an example, a mentor of sorts is the very best way to learn the route and make the journey.
It is for this very reason that Almighty God purposely desired for new brides and grooms to go to the marriage bed as virgins, without baggage and without responsibilities for children conceived and birthed outside the legal boundaries of Holy Matrimony. God desired children to be procreated by the legally married man and woman so that the newborn babes would come into this world on a firm, traditional, and lawful foundation of things done God’s way. One man married to one woman,… so that the offspring of such a union could be raised in the proper environment of an earthly at-home mother and father who then would be positioned to be able to raise and nurture the newborn infants all the way to adulthood,….under the same roof. God knew this was the best and most desirable manner and way to raise children. It was the best way to nurture and train up a child in the way he should go. It was the best environment in which to grow children from infancy to adulthood and there by solidify and perpetuate a healthy, loving, caring, and highly productive human society.
The traditional family unit as I have just described is the very cornerstone and foundation of a healthy society, of a properly grounded culture, and of an aspiring and productive nation. This is why I am openly and sincerely sharing with you the way God tells us to marry and create a family unit. History proves time after time that no nation has ever survived complete collapse who allowed or permitted the integrity of the traditional family unit to be changed or eliminated or perverted in any way. God has a sound and solid reason for giving us the guidelines that He gives. They all protect the integrity of the family unit and simultaneously insure the perpetuation of nations and their culture.
Listen carefully to what God has to say about children, parents, and the personal responsibility of raising a family. In the Book of Psalms, Chapter 127, verses 3-5, NKJV:
3) “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4) Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of ones’s youth.
5) Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their
enemies in the gate.”
Oh yes, God wants all good and Godly married couples to have children and lots of them…a quiver full of them are the words God uses. Now I completely understand that not every marriage has children, but I want you to fully grasp that every child needs both a mother, wife, female, and also a father, husband, male by whom they are to be properly raised. This is the only way to insure the perpetuation of the family unit and the long-lasting strength of the society and nation.
I tell you the proven truth,…children who do not grow up in traditional marriages and homes are much more likely to encounter and have most difficult and trying times in their lives. They can so easily fall victim to the negative and ugly bad associations with other lonely and misguided peers.
They don’t do as well in their academic life. They are lonely people. Trouble follows with other children and most usually with the authorities.
It all starts with males (regardless of their age) who are either “dead-beat” dads or who are absentee fathers who are seldom home to help and assist mom with the raising and training up of the children. Listen to me now, this is God’s “batting order,” this is the order of creation. Adam came first! Man is to be the head of the wife and of the family, whether he wants to be or not! God holds Adam (the man) responsible for the success of the marriage and the family. If dad fails, the whole family “goes down the tube.”
So many men I talk to say they are living only for duty,…they are only living and trying to be responsible. They say they are always lonely. They have no one there for them whenever they need help, advice, or counsel. They say that they have no other friend or associate on whom they can depend or count for help. Unfortunately most of these type men came from homes in which they grew up that were either fatherless and without a real leader, a real man, a role model, or they grew up in homes where the man of the house was totally uninvolved with the raising and nurturing of the children. “Dad was just not around much.” These men about whom I speak always share a common thread. They always say they are extremely lonely, that they have no real true meaning to their life, and that the “pressures” of being a husband, father, and leader of the home is always “on.” In short, they are simply over-whelmed by life and its responsibilities.
Now think about it for a moment. They have a Heavenly Father, The Creator of the Universe. They have His Holy Word. God is omnipresent, always available, He desires continual communion with His created children, and yet the troubled majority of testosterone bearers claim to be lonely and without anyone on whom they may count. There just seems to be a complete lack of understanding of who God is and where He can be found!
Sadly, all too many of the males in our society today buy into the cultural myth of “putting their nose to the grindstone” in order to make something great of themselves and become successful in their work specifically, and in their life, as a whole, while they are still young enough to enjoy it….while they are still living in “the fast lane.” Then later on they wake up usually in their forties, completely unhappy, disillusioned, and unfulfilled as they sorrowfully realize they have done nothing of significance with their lives. And they unintentionally pass on that “vision of life” on to their sons and daughters.
Remember, children learn primarily from observation.
The end result of this “sad cycle of life” is that so very many normal adolescent males (and females) reach college age with huge holes inside themselves. These are deep holes that these youth will fill up later on in their life, say in their twenties, with money, status, position, rank, work, or drugs, alcohol, sex, or other vices of life that they view as being either real or illusionary individual power sources.
The Lord goes on to tell parents the manner and way He wants the parents to teach, train, and raise up those blessed children into loving, caring, and productive adults who will love and serve the rest of mankind on this earth.
God’s personal instruction to parents is plain and very simple. In the Old Testament Book of Proverbs…“The Book of Wisdom”… Chapter 22, verse 6 NKJV God says to parents:
“Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
In the New Testament Book of Ephesians, Chapter 6, verse 4 NKJV God admonishes parents. He says:
“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
The truth, God’s truth, is most usually very plain and simple. Do the right things and do them in the right and proper manner and way. Your reward for doing such will be joy, happiness, and personal fulfillment. Everybody wins when we live according to God’s Laws. Remember, we are His finest Creation.
There is a real and enormous shortage of manhood in America! If we are in fact to survive as a nation, a culture, a society, we must immediately make the necessary changes and begin raising up some real true good men!
Good Men make a difference in our world, in our nation, in our families, and in our churches.
Good Men are the raw material from which God can and will grow up Great Men who in turn will lead the others.
Be a Real Man and Always Act Like One……………