Loneliness In Leadership

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All leaders, real leaders of other people, no matter who or where they are, have one thing in common.  They occupy what can become a very lonely position or place within society.  This may well be one of the major drawbacks or stumbling blocks to most people actively seeking greater or higher leadership roles. 

The leader always has great, full time, and very demanding personal responsibilities.  He (or she) is the one who has to make the final decisions.  The leader is not always a likable person and many times makes decisions or takes action that in fact become most unpopular.  That is why  “weak-hearted, non-confident, indecisive people never become good leaders of others.  The term “Leaders gotta lead” is not just a catch phrase.  It is a very true and real statement.  Other people will never follow a non-leader.  Followers give their permission for the recognized leader to lead them.  So all real leaders have with them a group of followers.  If there are no followers, or those that are following are unhappy, discontent, and disobedient, then there is in fact no real leader in existence.  Without a leader “in-charge” of guidance, direction, purpose, and cause, the entire organization will quickly become short-lived.

This is why God tells us in His Word to be faithful and obedient to your recognized leader.  Pray for them to be wise in their decision making.  Pray for them to stay on task in their efforts of leadership.  Pray for their safety and protection as they persevere and lead other people to higher levels of personal and group accomplishments. 

In order to be an effective leader, a person has to separate himself from the group he is leading.  He has to hold himself to a higher moral standard and work ethic than those he is leading.  He has to be blameless of personal indiscretions or mistakes.  And most importantly he must be willing to continually do the work tasks and perform the work efforts that he is asking his followers to do and perform.  Leadership by example is still the best form of it.

The real leader understands human nature, current events, world and national history, biblical perspective, and the facts that attach themselves to these disciplines. He or she, knows that never before in human history has anyone ever been able to get all of their followers to do the exact same thing in the exact same manner.  

God has made us all different.  We are all individuals and as such want to do things the manner and way that makes the most sense to us personally.  Your personal way may not be another person’s preferred way.  It is the wise leader of people who understands this truth, and loosens his leadership reins while leading the whole group, thereby giving some extra room for individual personal adjustments to fit individual desired performance.

As near as I can tell from my 38 years of leadership experience, the most important thing to accomplish in a group effort is to insure the group’s overall desired goals and purpose are achieved and completed.  Now it seems to me that that simple job number 1 can either be accomplished in a pretty and exact way with every member of the team breathing at the same rate, blinking in unison, exhaling simultaneously and all arriving at the completion destination in step and on time…or, it can be accomplished at the chosen manner, rate, and pace of the individuals involved as best fits their personal schedules and needs.  Either way results in achieving the group’s overall desires.  Isn’t that the most important thing?

Every leader of other people throughout all of recorded history has experienced the same confrontations, difficulties, people problems, discouragements, and joys of all the leaders who have gone before them.  No leader after the approximate 7500 years of human existence on earth is in a category all by themselves.

Leadership is a tough job.  Not impossible, but tough.  That is why it pays so well.  Whenever one deals with people, the old game of politics comes into play, the Hawks and the Doves.  The reality is that hawks and doves will never coexist.  There is simply no possible way that you as the leader will ever get them both into the same cage together.  As a leader of people, remember that you can never please everyone at the same time.  There will always be those who like you and those who don’t.  You will never be able to please and placate all of your followers simultaneously.  That is why a leader must stick to his own principles and standards of always doing the right thing and never playing favorites.  When everyone knows you to always do the right and honorable thing and then hold everyone to your same high standards of righteousness and correctness, then they will continue to follow you even though they may not always agree with you and your decisions.   Respect of the leader is the one thing that has to be in place in the hearts and minds of all the followers if the organization is to hold together, grow in size and influence,  and progress into the future.  Respect can only be earned, never demanded or commanded.

Challenges, disagreements, personal attacks, differences of understanding, differences of opinion, or personal perspectives as well as many other situations or concerns among all of the group being led tend to all mount up on the shoulders of the leader.  It is for this reason that the decisions and actions of the leader must always be honorable and correct so as to draw support and assistance from the people being led.

It is critically important that the man or woman who is in a leadership role have great self confidence.  Particularly in times of challenge or stress or confrontation.  The leader must never question or doubt his or her own value.  There will always be critics…always.  Never strain or try to listen to them or wonder whether they may be right.  Leaders choose and chart their decided courses and do not let negative influence or any other distractions steer them off course.

Remember that loneliness goes with all leadership roles.  But remember, you are never alone in your isolation as a leader of people.  All of the other great leaders of men before you,…have walked, trudged, and stumbled before you and they all made it.  So will you!

Moses had no close chums or buddies.  Nor did Joshua.  You find David with Jonathan only in his earlier years–but when he became the monarch of Israel, his greatest battles, his deepest prayers, his hardest decisions all occurred in total solitude.  The same with Daniel.  And the other prophets?

They were all the loneliest men in the Old Testament.  The Apostle Paul

frequently wrote of this loneliness in his letters.  He informed his protege’

Timothy:…“everyone in the  province of Asia has deserted me.” (See 2 Timothy 1 :15 NIV).

Now don’t get confused or misunderstand what I am trying to communicate to you.  I am not saying that a good leader is aloof and unaccountable to others.  I am not saying that a good leader purposely withdraws from the organization he is leading or tries to hide something from the followers.  It is just that solitude is simply part of the nature of the role of a leader.  It is in lonely solitude that God delivers His best thoughts, and the human mind needs to be still and quiet to receive them.

This is why for those whom God appoints or allows to become great leaders, it is essential for them to learn to breathe comfortably in the thin air of solitude found only in the highest places on earth and in their lives.  It is in these type places where God’s comfort and assurance come rushing into the crushing silence of solitude and isolation.  It is in these “high places” where man’s personal opinion is overshadowed.  Where faith replaces fear.  Where the quest for character deepens.  Where vision clears and the view of the “big picture”  widens and brightens.

It is there, alone and apart, true leaders earn the right to be respected.  It is there, true leaders  learn and know the full meaning of those profound words, “Be still and know that I am God.” 

Leaders Gotta Lead…………………

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