One of the greatest mistakes a husband or wife can ever make is to begin questioning themselves and their choices after the honeymoon is over. All of your courting questions, informational probing, learning about one another, personal background discovery processes, and simply checking each other out…should have all been completed before the marriage ceremony actually takes place. Once the final “I do’s” flow from the bride and groom’s lips, a new legal entity, a new and separate created unit comes into existence. This new legal unit,…Mr. & Mrs. RIGHT, is created from that point forward. A new couple,…a new legal entity,…now exists from that moment forward and the two separate individuals for all intents and purposes, are and have now become a new and separate unit of one! From that moment on,…whatever one does it is as if the other one also did it. The two become an inseparable entity of one.

Marriage, you see, is a very important institution in God’s eyes and within His value system. No man or woman is to separate what it is that God hath joined together.

With all this understanding of what marriage is all about and what it is to be, it then becomes incumbent upon the husband and the wife to make their marriage work. That is no small task. If it is to be properly completed it is going to take a daily herculean effort on both sides of the unit….by both the husband and the wife in order to make this new unit properly function and survive. This effort can only be accomplished by both parties laboring long and hard toward loving, serving, caring for, changing, and whenever necessary correcting their personal life habits and activities as they grow together and fall deeper in love with one another. As it is in all of God’s creation, good and right things always get better with time. But this situation does not just happen automatically…it will take work and lots of it to complete the growing of both the man and woman and the marriage entity.

Selfishness is the root of all sin in the life of a human being. If you are truly honest with yourself and with one another, you can really and quite easily trace back to the source of all the personal problems that you have experienced (or that are happening right now in your marriage relationship) to some particular point in time where either one or both of the partners allowed selfish wants, needs, or desires to over ride their own common sense,…and just had to have things their “own way” even if it occurred at the expense of their mate. Stop doing that sort of thing!

If you will only keep your own selfish desires out of the way and totally under control,…and will put your life mate into first position ahead of your own personal wants and desires,…then I will promise you that life will become much easier, loving, and fulfilling for both parties to this marital
union.

After a year or two of marriage,…after there are no more mysteries or secrets to be discovered about another’s life, activities, or functions,…far too many spouses begin to wonder and question their decision concerning their choice of a mate. It is a little late at this point to allow such questions to arise in your thought processes. It is much more correct and better that you begin to start making personal adjustments and corrections in your own behavior and practices, as compared to finding fault and weaknesses in the activities of your spouse.

I’ll be the first person to openly admit that it is, in fact, possible for a man or a woman to actually marry the wrong person. However, if you will simply treat the wrong person LIKE they were the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all!

Now you must realize that the corollary to the statement I just made can also work out to your own detriment. If you marry the right person and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person!

I will tell you an absolute truth in life….It is far more important for you personally to BE THE RIGHT KIND OF PERSON than it is for you to MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON.

Here is a fact of life: Whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.

It has been proven time and time again that the the best, most stable, sound, and lasting marriages are NOT built on the passion of the moment. The facts are that a state of ecstasy, a state of physical and emotional exhilaration, is not built solely upon emotion and feeling. Such exhilaration is not an everyday occurrence. The truth is that unrealistic demands or expectations will always create serious problems in the majority of marriages. Now listen carefully,….realistic, loving, and respectful, positive expectations and behavioral performances lead to marriages that last!

From my personal experiences over five decades of working with people, both married and single, and from my 42 years of being blessed by a most happy and successful personal marriage,…I have learned four absolute and required things, “truths” if you will, about having and keeping a lasting and loving personal marriage relationship,…about achieving true happiness and real love. Please permit me to share them with you.

1. There must be a daily exerted personal effort from the husband and the
wife which must include a willingness to forgive and to go the extra
mile to please and serve your mate.

2. Both the husband and the wife must accept and embrace the fact that
in all facets of the successful marriage, the main point is not who is
right but rather what is right.

3. There need be an open and immediate willingness to understand and
accept the fact that when a husband or wife has been proven to have
made a mistake in action or judgement, that they will “eat some crow”
whenever each is wise enough and humble enough to admit their
mistake and then ask their mate to forgive them. It must be
emphasized that once forgiveness is asked for and received, then no
more of the same foolish actions, or behavior will continue on the side
of the offending party.

4. There need be a willingness to move from “your” side of the table to
your mate’s side, and then lovingly embracing her or him and healing
the wound together through the love you are building and the
forgiveness you can extend to one another.

The marriage relationship is the grandest of all human personal relationships created by God for the use and enjoyment of His two finest creations, man and woman. If this new interpersonal relationship is to grow and last over the long term, it is to be honored, respected, enjoyed, and used for the express purposes originally intended by God Almighty. Whenever you do things right, i.e. (God’s way), the results are always wonderful and turn out to be the greatest blessings in your life.

You see dear ones, the way to a long and happy marriage relationship is to insure that it is well anchored to a strong and deep “Spiritual Root.” Marriages built on the solid foundation of God’s Love and His Biblical Purposes and Precepts insure proper and appropriate behavior by and between the parties involved which in turn plays out to a long and happy marital union.

Have a Great Forever……………….