All too often we as adults do not stop, pause and think about the important things in our lives. It just seems there is not enough available time in our life to allow us the luxury of some quiet moments of reflection. I exhort you right now! Stop, pause, sit down and consider all that has been done for you. Consider all of the blessings and benefits you have experienced, received, or have been provided to you up to this point in your life. Every day presents a new set of emergencies, challenges, or “have-to-get-done-immediately” work assignments. We are always being torn between adding a new time demand to our already too busy schedule or taking some time out for our all too neglected family and/or friends.
Most stressed out people, no matter the cause of the stress, just seem to keep adding on new work projects to their already-too-full work schedules. They just keep expanding, by their foolish choices, their “time-demands” list. Their priorities have slowly grown so out of balance that there just seems to be “No Time Available” for the most important things in life,….for their own families and friends.
We just hustle from here to there, thither and yon, going at mach speed to most usually nowhere important. We come home after an all –too-long work day, totally exhausted, crash into the “Ambitious Boy” recliner, and lay around in the chair lethargically for the rest of the evening. Supper usually interrupts our much deserved rest…our do-nothing time…but as soon as the last swallow of food is made….it’s a burp….and back to the lay-out chair….until about midnight when the late night talk shows are over. BORING!
Is it any wonder that the families of America are falling apart? May I remind you that all good and proper things in all of God’s creation require time spent together in order to improve. All human relations require time spent together growing and loving and serving the other side of the relationship. If you desire good results to come from people and things with which you deal, then there must be much good quality time invested in those very same things and people. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
A wise sage skipper with whom I fish in Alaska says it best: “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken feet.” Translated he says…If you want the right results with and for other people, you must only use the right ingredients called for by the recipe you are putting together.
Men, listen well! Wives and children all spell Love using the letters T-i-m-e.
All your good intentions or truthful excuses used to justify why you were unable to be with them,…why you were unable to keep your appointments with them,…why you could not meet with them as you had agreed to and planned,…hold no basis for them to understand or respect. They do not care why you were not able to be with them as you said you would.
Failure to give them sufficient time together in their eyes is another way of saying “I really don’t care about you. You are not that important to me.” Remember…Perception is Reality…whenever you are dealing with other people. It is not what you say or do or intend that other people see and know is important,….it is what they think or they heard you say or do or intend that counts in their minds.
There is indeed no better way to express your love, care and genuine concern for your own wife and children than for you to sacrifice things, …important things,… no matter what they are,….just so that you can be with them, support them, watch them perform, listen to their words,…and sometimes just quietly and tenderly hold them in your own arms.
Just in case you didn’t know it…THAT’S WHAT LOVING, CARING DADS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO…….. Never get too busy to do it.
My very own children, two sons and a daughter, are all grown now and out on their own. But,….they would readily attest…as smaller children living in my home,…that every evening when I returned home from my office or my work travels, I would call out their names loudly and clearly as I neared the entry door. The call of their name was the trigger for them to come running and squealing to me and jump into my arms to receive a “Big Grizzly Bear Hug” from Daddy. We would roll on the floor and wrestle and tickle and give “Raspberry” blows to their necks or to their fat tummies. We would laugh and play and speak the language of love to one another….No matter how tired or exhausted I was.
Finally after all our play was finished, I would get to look at the day’s school work or recognition, and oh how I would compliment and even brag about their intelligence and good performance,…regardless of what was actually the case! It was all my way of personally blessing each child, and complimenting them for being such wonderful gifts from God to mom and me. They knew without any doubt that they were loved, appreciated and valuable parts of our entire family.
This whole scenario usually lasted for about twenty to thirty minutes with the kids. As soon as it was completed, my entire attention switched to Mom,…to Jan, my wife. I would take her in my arms…in front of the kids…..I wanted to show her and the children how much I loved her and how much I loved them.
Multiple times every day, I voiced how much I loved her every chance I got. I told her just how vitally important she was to me and too all of the family. I would properly hold her in my arms and kiss her and thank her for all that she had done for our family all that day.
It may sound “korny” to some of you, but I tell you it is critical to the health, bonding, and well-being of your own family.
It is vitally important for children to see how a loving husband properly touches and shows affection to their mother, as well as to them. Appropriate touching is a most meaningful way to convey true love and care for and to another human being. Hugging always has been and will continue to be a most important requirement for all members of my family. A big hug, squeeze, pat, touch, pinch, tickle, or nibble is how love language is spoken in my house….together with all the other words of our great English language. Communication is key to all good relationships.
Loving, caring families are always delighted in each other’s presence.
We would just always talk and touch and hug each other whenever we were together regardless of whether we were working, playing, or just resting. The kids made no requests of me….and I made no demands of them. Our real quality time together was spent just totally enjoying each other’s company. We were always speaking positive affirmations to each other. Such verbal communications were a critical part of the time we spent together. We all knew we were loved, by God and by one another.
Whenever there is more than one member of the family, it is rare that they all like to do the same thing. It is rare that they all like the same type of foods, or sports activities or almost anything else. God made us all individuals with our own personal tastes. That really is not the issue.
The issue is teaching each member to sacrifice their personal likes anddislikes whenever required for the good of the entire family. An example might be that Johnny does not like crab salad and Mary, his sister, does not like pizza. But…on the nights that crab salad or pizza is served…..Everyone eats it without complaint, and with a smile.
Keep peace in the family and thanks-giving on your lips to the cook who prepared the meal. We call it Consideration for someone else’s effortsor position. It is the stuff from which harmony, unity, and happiness is really made. Every family has its differences, every family member has their own likes and dislikes,… but that doesn’t provide a platform which permits rebellion, anger or disrespect amongst the individuals.
God’s Word tells the world that it will know who the Believers in Christ are because they will love one another. Love, courtesy, good social manners, respect, kindness, consideration, service and submission are all good applicable words that can be used to describe what love of your neighbor really is.
I tell you that whenever people, any people, even enemies, treat each other with actions described by those eight words above, then love, care and concern leap across any boundary or barrier that exists. God is so good. God tell us in His Word to love and care one for another. There are no further restrictions or limitations placed upon any person. Love means Love…if you are a Christian, then it is to be given to anyone and everyone with whom you come into contact!
None of us really knows just how much more time we will all have to be together as a family unit. Catastrophe could be lurking just around the next corner. Who knows just how many more opportunities you will ever have to tell another family member just how much you really do love them.
FAMILY…It is indeed a PRICELESS TREASURE
Peace and Love to all of you……Poppa Bear