One Sunday morning several months ago I was sitting in my church pew intently listening to a wonderful sermon relating to people and how and what they should do to in order to get along well with their family, friends, and neighbors.  The topic was timely and certainly applicable to the world as it exists today.  With so much turmoil and tragedy happening all around us, it sure would be better if people, all people, could do a better job of helping and cooperating with one another, wouldn’t it?  Telescoping from first afar and then reducing back to the present, i.e. from the world scene back to local scene, the subject of the sermon got right into the heart of the matter,…the marriage of one man and one woman.

The Pastor delivering the message stated that if a husband and wife could not get along with each other, then how would it be possible for them to get along with other people outside their marriage affiliation.  Worse yet, how could such struggling parents ever expect to assist, train, model and be an example for their children to see and observe as to how to treat, act, care and provide for a spouse once they got to the marrying age themselves.  Never forget the fact that People Do What People See.

Just as the crescendo of the sermon was being reached, the Pastor made a statement that knifed through me like a slashing sword.  He said,  “I have finally figured out why so many marriages don’t last,…why there are so many divorces.”  The intenseness of the congregation increased as they sat motionless, focused on his next words,…which were,…“Because the husband and/or wife married the wrong person!”

Wow!!  Doesn’t that statement ever hit the nail squarely on the head?  The divorce rate among the churched and the unchurched people of today, in particular the 18-35 year old folks, the eligible marrying people, is well over 50+%.  In reality that means that over half of the people who are saying “I Do” to each other in front of God, a preacher, family members, and friends are in fact liars!  It would be a tough job, I would think, to be a preacher and know that more than half of the people you are marrying are not telling the truth!…in front of you, each other , God, and witnesses.  Who ever said that life was easy?

The Marriage Covenant Vow is the second most important decision and vow you will ever make in your lifetime.  The single most important Covenant Vow is inviting and accepting The Lord Jesus Christ into your heart and becoming a Born-Again Christian Believer.

Now if you as an individual will break the second most important vow,…your own word,…because of your own poor choices and your unwillingness to work things out to a good resolution after you have made a mistake, as you promised to do,…then what other vows, agreements, covenants, contracts, and the like will you all too eagerly be willing to break also?

Therein lies the problem as well as the solution to the divorce rate that we, as a society, face today.  Your personal word is either good or it isn’t.  That’s it period!  You are either a person of integrity or you are not.  That’s it Period!  God’s Rules are always white or black, there never has been nor will there ever be grey rules from God.  There is right and there is wrong.  God is not into “definite maybes.”

How well did you know your spouse before you married them?  How long did you date and be around each other before you vowed to spend the rest of your lives together?  How well did you know the real character of your mate before the wedding ceremony?  Did your spouse have good manners and people skills before your marriage or has he or she always been rude and discourteous to other people?  Were there lots of warning signs and activities demonstrated by your mate foretelling of future catastrophe that you indifferently overlooked or didn’t heed?  Were there any incorrect or immoral behavior or attempted behavior by either the man or the woman before the marriage vows were given and received?  Did you sadly but, in fact, truly marry the wrong person?…

A man was once asked, “How did you happen to marry your wife?”  He shrugged,…“She was the sister of a friend of someone I went on a blind date with one time.”

Obviously his destiny….correct?

Another man was asked, “Why did you marry your wife?”

His reply was, “I was following a military parade down the street, and someone grabbed me and kissed me, and later I married her.”

A patriotic partnership, if nothing else.

In another case a young wife was asked, “Why did you marry your husband?”

She replied, “My parents were unbearable.  I married the first man I ever dated.”

I wondered if he knew that.

The saddest instance of asking such queries was when an old man 85 years of age and married for over 60 years to a woman with whom he constantly fought and showed little if any love and affection every day of their entire married life, was asked, “Why did you marry your wife?”

His pathetic reply was simply,  “I don’t have any earthly idea why I married that woman.  She just wanted to get married,”

What a hero he was.  60 years of war without a winner.

With the lax moral foundation of so many younger people today, all too often they will admit that during their too-short courtship, they engaged in premarital sex.  The girl becomes pregnant.  Both sets of parents, plus their own consciences, caused the marriage, and out of guilt with little or no godly love between them they go to the marriage alter and then divorce within a couple years thereafter.  There is simply no right way to do the wrong thing!  Right motives for any of your actions are the only thing that will permit right and proper results.

As it often turns out, the marriage commitment is deeply flawed because of something or someone in the past….long before the actual marriage ceremony takes place.

Divorce occurs for the vast majority of couples who are separating either because the husbands or the wives do not really believe that their chosen partners were God’s perfect choices for them,…or because they harbor a grudge for some wrong their partners did to them long ago.  As a result the foundation for the marriage is not a solid rock as Scripture tells us it should be, but rather it is a quagmire of hurts, misunderstandings, suspicions, resentment, and guilt.

One fact is for certain, that is…marriage can be the closest thing to 

a heaven…or a hell…that many will ever find on this earth.  

The conclusion that can best be drawn from this discussion is for you,…the one, whoever you are, that is approaching the point of soul-mate selection,…to slow things down.  Do not be in a rush.  Do not be in a hurry.  Be patient.  You are going to be married for a very long time, forty-five to sixty-five years on average.  Nothing, so intimate and so personal, is so important that it cannot wait until after the marriage ceremony.  Until you are in fact legally married there can be no overt physical sexual activity between you as if you were already married.  Do you hear me and do you understand what I just said!  Marriage between and man and a woman in God’s eyes is a Blood Covenant…One that is what His Created Life and all that it infers is based upon.  Never violate such an important thing.

With the moral decay that abounds across our nation today, and the loose moral standards that so many people, regardless of age or sex, have and exhibit, it is no wonder that there are so many broken relationships between two people writhing in pain because they have been so mistreated and abused by another person.   So horrific are these painful encounters that they lead all too many young people to choose not to marry,…not to love,…not to birth and raise a family,…not to be obedient to their Creator’s Instructions.  Their disobedience keeps them from forever receiving the blessings that God wants them to have.  Do not be one of these type people.  Always be obedient to the guidance you are given by your heavenly Father.

Do things the right way.  Live your life in total obedience and commitment to God’s directions.  Always do the right thing.  Never violate God’s Laws or your fellow man’s rights.  In so doing God will greatly pour out His Blessings onto you and onto all of your loved ones.

Have A Great Forever…………….

 

Sample From Marriage Section